May 21: An Afternoon in Frankenmuth

Let me begin this by saying that we set out for Frankenmuth without much idea of what to expect other than a store that sold Christmas stuff all year round. Based on that description, I suppose you could say this trip exceeded expectations. But that makes it sound a lot better than it really is.

Here the city looks down right scenic. Don't be fooled.

Frankenmuth advertises itself as "Michigan's Little Bavaria." It's really just an over-exaggerated version of Columbus' German Village that was bought by Donald Trump and turned into a Disney-type theme park. The food is not so great, everything is over-priced, and each shop sells tie-dyed sweatshirts sporting the town name. However, if this does not deter you, than go for it.

Similar to Disney, statues of mice line the streets.

We arrived in the town early in the morning and walked around some the little shops on the main street of the city. Most of them looked cute from the outside but once you entered there was really nothing worth buying. And there was little variety. At one end of the main drag was a little shopping center set off from the street. These stores had a bit more diversity; most of these stores were specialty or niche stores, which made them more entertaining to browse through.

In the shopping center we had a strawberry-banana crepe at a little cafe. That was delicious. For lunch, we mistakenly thought it'd be a good idea to find some authentic German cuisine so we went to the Bavarian Inn instead of the slightly better rated (on Yelp at least) Zehnder's which apparently is famous for chicken. Bad choice for so many reasons. We should have turned around when the hostess stared at us like a deer in the headlights when we entered the building. But we stuck it out and had to pick from four different menus. I still could not tell you the difference between these except one seemed needlessly expensive.

The crepe was actually delicious but . . . .

The biggest sign you have failed at picking a good restaurant when traveling is when you see buses of group tourists piling into said establishment. Unfortunately, we had already committed and ordered food by this point so it was too late to leave. The food was very similar to Schmidt's (in Columbus) but more bland and way less delicious. I ordered the Sauerbraten and a side of noodles. The noodles were covered in crushed crackers and were really dry and gross. Although I am not a connoisseur of Germanic cuisine the sauerbraten was only so-so.

. . . . the sauerbraten and noodles, not so much.

To add insult to injury, a woman in a Bavarian costume serenaded the diners with her accordion music, stopping at every other table to pose for pictures with the guests. It was way too campy for my enjoyment. We did not stay very long afterwards as we decided to spend the rest of the evening at a nearby outlet mall instead. In conclusion, while not the worst place I've ever been, it's certainly far from the best.